So this weekend, there I was chillin’ at home, enjoying my “I’d like to start getting home delivery of the” New York Times when all of a sudden I feel this thing scratching on my neck. Now sure, my goodlooks and English charm often result in babes back at basecamp, and scratching on my neck is normally the sign of a happy occasion, but I knew I was alone in my apartment so I was fairly alarmed. So I kinda made a brushing stroke across my neck and out the corner of my eye this HOOJ cockroach is sharin’ me Sunday Styles section of the paper! Like WTF? Who invited you?! He was massive!! He’d had one too many a Sunday roast!
Needless to say, the next 10 mins were pretty hairy. And I’m not just talking about my chest. After my initial dancin’ about (which probably looked more stupid than normal since I hadn’t got any choons on) I tried to find something to squish the rascal. Eventually I tracked down a trusty copy of PCW and decided this was the tool the job. See – techie magazines are practical! Now, at the last sighting this whopper of a roach was scampering behind the pillows (he’d was obviously trying to copy my bedroom style) 😉 . Piece by piece I took the bed apart but he was no-where to be found. The next hour I tried all sort of tactics, but to be honest, I think my bug-finding tactics are best left in the office. They don’t apply to real-life bugs. You can’t just check a roach’s log file or turn on debugging.
Needless to say, the last two nights were sleepless ones, but all for the wrong reasons. I kept dreaming that he was gonna come back for another attack. Well, just be warned Mr Brooklyn “how you doin” Roach – I got my Bug Byte Kat Trap so you stay away from me! Otherwise, I’m gonna feed you to a very hungry snake! Werd!