14 Muppet Things That People Do

People do silly things sometimes! Here’s 14 of them to kick off your Tuesday – I think these are mainly Brit sayings, but those Noo Yawkers have been known to say some of them too! I always say number 11.. 🙁

1. People point at their wrist while asking for the time….I know where my watch is pal, where the flip is yours? Do I point at my body when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People are willing to get off their rear to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. People say “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too”. Frickin’ right! What good is a cake if you can’t eat it?

4. People say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?5. While watching a film people say “did you see that?”. No tosser, I paid 10 quid/bucks to come to the cinema and stare at the muppet floor.

6. People who ask “Can I ask you a question?”. Didn’t really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?

7. When something is ‘new and improved!’. Which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say “life is short”. What the f*ck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that’s longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?

10. People who say things like ‘My eyes aren’t what they used to be’. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?

11. When you’re eating something and someone asks ‘Is that nice?’ No it’s really revolting – I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.

13. McDonalds staff, who pretend they don’t understand you if you don’t insert the ‘Mc’ before the item you are ordering…..It’s has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank looks. Well I’ll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you McTosser.

14. When you’re involved in an accident and someone asks ‘are you alright?’ Yes fine thanks, I’ll just pick up my limbs and be off.

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